What do dating couples talk about
Garry Pelton was nervous to talk with his girlfriend.Not that anything was wrong; in fact, Pelton was considering asking her to marry him.“However, you don’t need to discuss money directly to identify or understand someone’s approach to money.”Orbuch says you can deduce someone’s financial philosophy by simply observing how they move through the world and handle everyday transactions. Did they use discount travel sites such as Kayak or Expedia to book their flight and accommodations?Did they stay at a five-star hotel, or rough it in an RV?He wanted to be able to go on vacations, but when the couple saved up to afford them.More generally, he believed in living within his means: never spending more than he earned, and saving up for large purchases instead of buying them on credit and incurring debt.“I knew finances were a big sticking point for couples,” he says.“Don’t have a talk about how each of you approaches money until later in the relationship — when you are considering being a couple, when you think of yourself as a ‘we’ and want your friends and/or family to meet this person,” Orbuch adds.
Spencer Reese, a 29-year-old Air Force captain, and his wife managed to go from more than 0,000 in debt to a quarter-million dollars in net worth in six years, and he recommends discussing money on the second or third date, meanwhile.
Talking about money is uncomfortable for just about everyone, and he didn’t want to grapple with the awkwardness until he was sure he wanted to be in a committed, long-term relationship with the woman he’s dating.
Besides, he had a pretty good idea about his girlfriend’s attitudes toward money without discussing it directly.
She loved trying new restaurants, but didn’t insist on an expensive meal out every date.
One night she remarked that she loved visiting Japan, but only did when she could afford it, giving him the impression she saved for what she wanted. That would have been overstepping my boundaries or being too forward.“The biggest obstacle in a relationship is talking about finances.